12 Strong Reasons to Quit Rehashing the Past

One way or another, shed the past. It's good. Be free.

The past is over. And when it’s over, it is over.

Can you name five or more reasons why it’s good for you to stop rehashing dark times from the past?

Too bad we don’t come hardwired with a buzzer that sounds off whenever the thinking mind travels back to some misfortune that left us with unwanted feelings of bitterness, despair or failure. That buzzer would go off constantly during our waking hours, driving us nuts and everyone around, but it could help us catch ourselves whenever we dive back into a hurtful blast from the past.

I call rehashing the past–mental keening!

Keening is that pitiful wail some cultures sound when a loved one dies. The tradition is congruent with customs from other parts of the world, but we don’t need to keep crying daily over regretful memories in any such way. As poet, Mary Oliver suggests regarding crying over our mistakes, “…the world doesn’t need any more of that sound.”

DO you find yourself silently keening over the past?

If you had one of those beepers, would it buzz often as dark memories are relived, and all the self-limiting emotions associated with them resurfacing one more time?

I use memories, but I will not allow memories to use me.  – Deepak Chopra

Here’s why we need to stop crying out loud over misfortunes from the past.

12 Strong Reasons to Quit Rehashing the Past:

1.  We cannot change what happened, so let’s get over it. Remember, when it’s over, it’s over.

2.  It only perpetuates our victim identity which morphs into a bad habit.

3.  We all have our personally distorted notion of “what happened” long ago, and reliving it again only strengthens our one-sided story.

4.   Memories that evoke immobilizing emotions release stress hormones into the system and create tension. Anyone need more tension?

5.   It’s a pitiful waste of our God-given energy.

6.   The past? We’re not going that way!

7.   It takes up space for anything new to enter the mind.

8.   It blocks the creative mind.

9.   It impedes the valuable process of acceptance toward self and others.

10. The small whisperings of our inner guidance’s voice are drowned out.

11.  Makes us cautious of the future.

12.  Rehashing the past prevents us from experiencing the in-dwelling magic of the present moment.

Every minute holds an opportunity to make a conscious choice to shed the old, and then we’re able to reside in the big silence of inner wisdom, which is full of exciting possibility. Our infantile cries transform into sounds of celebration. We are free.

You probably thought of other reasons to let go of dark thoughts from the past. Leave a comment and share.

Without freedom from the past, there is no freedom at all.  – Jiddu Krishnamurti



  1. Christi Bulot says:

    Dear Heather:

    What perfect timing, for me, for these words of wisdom to come into my life. I must share with my sibblings. Rehashing the past is a pitiful watse of our God-given energy! Move on and be accepting of self and others. Thank you. Miss you!


    • Heather says:

      Christi, so glad you found some useable stuff in the blog post. Thanks for being you and your willingness to integrate new information to support your wonderful unfoldment. We wouldn’t want to interrupt that creative flow of yours. 🙂 YOU are so missed. Thanks!!

  2. Lilli Miles says:

    So, Heather, were you in my head yesterday? Did you hear all of my pitiful thoughts? Left you a message. Please call. I’m heading out to buy a buzzer….connected to an electrical current….

    Big hug,


  3. Dearest Heather,
    YOU HAVE DONE IT AGAIN. GREAT ADVICE. I so totally agree with you. I feel that just like a GPS only cares about where you are and where you want to go. Going into the past is a waste of time. How much more of life’s gifts would we experience If we only consider where we are … AND then focus on getting where we want to be ASAP. Jeanine

  4. Michelle says:

    I loved reading this. I had an ex within the past year who did a number on me. Took me a while to really put together a deep LET GO. He was an opportunist who decided to use space, distance, and time to his advantage. Thing is, I know that everything he tried to use against me actually worked to MY advantage for once, over the course of this past year. I was devastated when I uncovered all the bullshit he did to me, and felt like it was all MY FAULT. Thing is, I know that’s what he would want me to think, mainly because he took zero responsibility for anything he did, at all. I can definitely assure myself that if I could go back in time and try and change things, I wouldn’t. I would never conscientiously involve myself with someone with such issues and someone who is so lacking something major in the way of character, integrity, merit, and ethic. He played a good game. Problem is, anyone who is genuinely comfortable in their own skin don’t go around attempting to destroy anyone. This whole thing has made me a stronger person. I’m kinda glad he did this. And I’m glad I was able to stumble upon this article. Thank you.

    • Heather says:

      Thanks, Michelle for sharing. Your situation is a perfect example of one that could be rehashed and reworked in the mind for years on end. Once anyone can discover the gift in the difficult situation, then the circumstances of the original drama loses its emotional charge and stops the hurting. Good luck as you move on, leaving that relationship where it belongs–in the past. Heather

  5. Dear Heather,

    I am so grateful to Carin for sending this to me. I like Michelle just had the man I loved walk out on me for another women and I am having trouble letting it go. I need to stop rehashing the past and this information is a good start to letting go.

    Thank You

    • Heather says:

      Judy! In the beginning after a break up, it’s almost impossible not to rehash and redo, but after 90 days — that’s it, no more trying to “figure it out” — done, thank you and good bye and forward we go! Heather

  6. Dear Heather,

  7. Dear Heather, I went through a divorce in 1987. I still dream of my exhusband at least once a month, and sometimes as much as 2-3 times a week! I feel as though I am being sabatoged by my subconscious. I have no physical or financial ties to this man. I do not think of him during my wake hours, so I am not only perplexed but appalled re this contined intrusion in my night time hours. Sometimes moving on isn’t as easy as a wish to do so.

    • Heather says:

      Hi Elizabeth! When you dream about your former husband, it is not really HIM. In your dreams he represents some aspect of your own inner self that is as of yet unresolved. Think about the kind of man he was or was not, and that will be a clue as to some part of your psyche you’ve not yet looked at. Good to hear form you, Elizabeth. It’s been too long! 🙂 Heather

  8. I am late to comment on this one. I meant to, but then forgot. Probably to busy thinking about what happened yesterday. 😉
    You know me…I dwell deeply in the past for a long time. Still have some moments. It congeals us…spirit and soul, to stare at the past.
    There is a 12 Step saying: Stop wishing for a better past.
    I like that. It ain’t gonna change, so LET IT GO.

Speak Your Mind