24 Surefire Ways to Remain a Second Grader Forever

Do you remember your first day of Third Grade?

Time moved slowly back in those days!

You’d spent a seemingly never-ending year in second grade where everything felt comfortably predictable.

But now as a third grader, you had a new and unfamiliar teacher. Her voice may have sounded louder, softer or more threating than what you were used to. Maybe she even smelled different than your second grade teacher. Her style of dress may have been more or less stylish, and her body language alien to you — difficult to read.                           

Some of your former chums from last year were missing in the classroom, replaced by strange new faces.

New rules, new things to learn and new demands on you in the third grade.

But four weeks later, you’d adapted. Maybe you gave up your role as the smartest kid in the class, the geek, the bully or the class clown. You experimented with new behaviors, made new friends and began to trust the new teacher.

As kids, we had CHANGE imposed upon us, either by being promoted to the next grade, by parents relocating or divorcing, or by our ever-changing physical body. As adults however, we have take charge of imposing change or new opportunities to grow upon ourselves, or we remain forever in the same lower grade!

24 Surefire Ways to Keep Yourself Held Back a Grade and Not Advancing to the Next Level in The School of Life:

1. Worry endlessly about what other people think!

2. Never ask forgiveness of those you may have offended.

3. Don’t bother to ask for hugs or a helping hand.

4. DO not ever say what truth needs to be verbally expressed to another.

5. Turn to maple glazed doughnuts in any crisis.

6.  Avoid exercise at all costs!

7. Regard the clock as your fiercest enemy.

8. Avoid spending leisurely time alone.

9. DO NOT read books.

10. Don’t speak kindly of others. Gossip!

11. Procrastinate like a maestro.

12. NEVER try anything new!

13. Resist looking to yourself as a source of Joy.

14. Live under the illusion that you must struggle with unhappy thoughts.

15. Keep an inventory of what you DO NOT want in life!

16. NEVER arise an hour before the alarm goes off!

17. DO not trust yourself with positive self-talk.

18. Ignore nature as your personal healer!

19. Never give before you get.

20. Cling to the woes of the past.

21. Continually worry about old age, infirmity and death.

22. Believe everything you think.

23. Never sow spiritual seeds.

24. Disregard your boundless creative power! 

We repeat ourselves endlessly: same behaviors, habits, fears and thoughts. Resisting change, we remain in our comfort zones, even though they aren’t that pleasant much of the time.

Every moment is an opportunity to either cling to old ways and self-limiting beliefs, or to step forward and try something new. What are you planning to do to promote yourself to the next grade level in the daunting School of Life?

Note: No way in this post am I demeaning our darling fellow creatures who actually are in second grade. They are brave, spontaneous and full of life. There’s much to be learned by observing the children, AND as adults, we must move forward.


  1. Oh, lordy! Where do I begin?! 🙂
    Anytime you have a list and I read through it my mind goes crazy: “delete that one, keep, delete, maybe keep, never…!” Number 5 leaves me squirming! Mmmmm…maple! Yum…
    Ya know, the more I think about it I really LOVED Kindergarten. Heeheehee! I’d be happy to stay there to color, play and have snack.
    Sometimes we choose to move up a grade, sometimes we are moved up a grade even if we resist and cry the whole way. I hate and love this list! I hate and love growing out of my comfort zone. But I thank for your a provoking post. One question though – when is recess?

    • Jenny! It should go like this: 50 min of recess, followed by 10 min classroom time of readin’, writin’ and ‘rithmetic, and then back out to the playground for 50 min of more play — repeat sequence throughout the school day! Happy School!

  2. AND let’s not forget the field trips, ladies!

  3. We may not want to step out of our comfort zone BUT when we do we find something even better.

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